MY cousin Kariuki was by all standards a wise man. He was a naval officcer in the Kenya Navy, with the rank of a corporal. His base was Mtongwe in Likoni on the mainland side of Mombasa.
He was married with two kids. He had saved little by little and had managed to put up a small shop, which his dotting wife ran to give the family the extra neede cash. Sometimes when he was offduty, he would go and help in the shop as his wife did some housechores. And he loved to see the cashflow. Thus it was always his hobby to serve the customers and see the little baby shop grow.
This was the case on this monday morning. He and a colleague were sitting inside his shop sipping some cold soda and chatting about nothing in particular. Out of nowhere appeared this guy who was shabbily dressed. He greeted them as is customary and went ahead to ask for a coke.
He was served outrightly and asked politely to sit on a wooden form placed conviniently outside for the comfort of the customers. He declined and opted to stand. From the tone of his voice, he sounded like a Merian and looked evry inch like a fool.
Kariuki and his friend continued with their conversation but the man interrupted them. He wanted to know whether they were aware of the Kenya Charity Sweepstakes' offices which he had been told were in this area.
"Where?" they both asked at the same time with consternation on their faces. Knowing too well that Mtongwe was a small village and way out of town. Such offices could only be found in town on the island side.
"You see", the man begun what was a long story. "I had come from Meru and arrived in Mombasa today morning. I had a load of miraa { khat, a mild stimulant found in Meru and widely chewed in Coastal towns} that i brought to Kongowea market but which i was unable to sell. So i gave it to some brokers who dissappeared with my money. I was left with nothing but 20 shs which i had on me." Pity begun to form on the faces of the listeners.
"Then i decided out of the blue to purchase a sweepstake worth the 20 shs since there was nothing much i would have bought with the money anyway." They were all ears now.
"After scratching the numbers of the instant card, I asked a stranger whom i did not know to check for me whether i had won anything since i am illiterate.
The stranger, after scrutinising, held my hand with a firm grip and led me away. He whispered to me something to the effect that i had won 100000 kshs. At first i did not believe him but then he insisted that he will take me to the sweepstake offices on condition i give him 20% of the winnings. Of course i agreed since the money was a Godsend.
We boarded a matatu to town but then i found ourselves alighting near a very big river which had no bridge. We then embarked on a big thing that looked like a big sufuria which carried very many people and even wonder of wonders, many lorries and many cars. I wonder why it never sank. I have never been so afraid in my life. It then took us to the other side of the river." My guys independently thought that this man must surely be a fool. He was talking about the Likoni channel crossing. The big river was the indian ocean, and the big sufuria was the ferry that takes people and cars across the channel.
"While the sufuria was taking us across, i wondered why the hell i was trusting another stranger, having had such a bad morning. It crossed my mind that the good samaritan could be another swindler and why not make a dash for it while there were so many people around now that i had a sense of the direction of the offices.
Thats how i have come here and something tells me you are nice people who can direct me there. "Has the ticket really won you that money," They both asked in unison. "Sure here it is, you can both confirm it for me." He leaned down and fished a dirty handkerchief from out of his filthy socks, that were covered with torn stinking shoes. By this time both guys had come out of the shop. They both jostled to catch a glimpse of the ticket and to their unbelieve, three nos. tallied announcing the unbelievable 200000kshs jackpot not the 100000kshs this guy was told. Kariuki stepped hard on the toes of his colleague, lest he yells around that the figure was twice as much.
" And now what do you propose to do with the ticket". They had swallowed the bait, hook line and sinker.
"Here's what i would wish to do. Am so afraid now of trusting anyone. If only you had cash?"
"What they cried out loud. Nobody keeps such vast sums of money with him," Kariuki replied carefull not to mention that it was actually 200000. "100000 Shs by God is a lot of money."
"Listen to my proposal. I dont know what i would do with that kind of money myself, nor where to hide it." Kariuki remembered the stinking socks hideout, and whether a bunch of 200000 kshs note could actually fit in them
"If only you had 20000 kshs, youd give me cash and i would surrender the ticket to you and then you would collect the eighty thousand yourself. Am tired of this place and want to go home as soon as i can. Furthermore i had nothing.".
Kariuki and his friend begged for a minute to discuss the developing scenario. Alone they thought what they could do with this windfall. 90000 kshs each would pocket. Kariuki's shop would be stocked and they would drink to celebrate the unexpected fools day.
Kariuki looked into the till and there was only 5000shs. His friend also had a mere 500 shs in his pockets but he had some money in the bank which he was willing to withdraw. Kariuki rushed to his house and also came with thebank card. Together they each decided to put in 10000 to pay this fool. But bank closing hours were only an hour away.
Going round the Likoni way was too far. What with unexpeted delays at the channel crossing. They couldnt make it. But there was a way out. Evry 15 minutes there was a navy boat that crossed the channel from the naval barracks and it was a 10 minute only walk to the shores. All they had to do was close shop quickly and pass through the navy base and they would catch the 1/2 hour boat, hoping they would find the doors of the bank open within the next 30 minutes.
So they informed the fool of their plans but he showed no emotions. They thought the experience of that day had taught him to be cautious, but then they knew they were going to fullfil their part of the deal.
They departed. On the way the fool, Kinoti as he had told them his name was kept on enquiring after evry other path where it led to. And exchanging some knowing winks they explained to him all, sometimes only making wild name guesses.
There was a hitch at the gate of the naval headquarters where they had to pass through. It so happens that the naval uniform to a point resembles the Kenya police uniform. The fool therefore refused to enter the gate, suggesting that they were laying him a trap, just like the others so he could be arrested and hios precious ticket taken away from him.
It took precious minutes, to convince him. The guys had to even fish their navy identification cards to convince him they were not policemen, but he sighed ignorance saying he couldnt read.
After what seemed eternity, he was convinced and off they went just in time to catch the 1/2 hour boat. On the other side, they jumped off before the boat docked, took the first matatu they came across and paid fare for even the empy seats so they would be in time.
They found a hotel near the bank since the fool did not want to go inside. They bought him a soda and told him not to talk to anyone about their mission till they were back. In no time they were back at the hotel and sure enough, the fool had remained in his own little corner and the soda was only half drunk.
They asked for the receipt again and both counterchecked before handing the fool 20000 shs. They then asked him if he would know his way to the meru bus office and he said he couldnt. Kariuki opted to take him out and direct him to a matatu that would drop him at the office. Meanwhile the fool stuck the bunch of notes in his socks! and Kariuki gave him an xetra 200 shs so he would not have to take out his bunch to pay the town fare.
He stopped a matatu outside and directed the tout where he would drop the 'fool'.
It was after they took one beer each to celebrate that they rushed to the nearby sweepstake offices to catch in on their luck. They enterd the reception and enquired of the section for claims. The receptionist directed them to the relevant place and they handed the receipt for verification.
The verifier looked at them with consternation in his eyes, bored they thought. He picked the telephone and spoke in a whisper to someone on the other end. They werte given the ticket and shown another door.
Inside they met what looked like a no nonsense gentleman sitting by a large desk. He commanded them to sit down.
"His first question brought them to the real world. May i know your names and where you work?" They didnt understand the relevance of the questin but nevertheless answered him.
"Where did you get this ticket may i know? Again consternation.
Did a foolish Merian sell it to you?" what now?
"You better tell me because it is an offence to present a forged ticket. See here." they both peered, fear written all over their faces. "Our tickets have unbroken lines crossing all over the face of the tickets in all manner of curves. Now if you look carefully, you will see that two of the figures with 200000 shs have lines going right across. But the third figure of 200000 has lines that do not meet. This means that the person who forged this cleverly cut out the 200000 figure from a second ticket and scraped out the figure that had originally been here and carefully fixed the forgery on this spot." They now saw he was telling the truth. " We know you have been conned like others before you by the purpotted foolish Meru and were it not that you are uniformed officers i would have called the police. Now go your way and if you spot the conman have him arrested at once.
They went out , their heads bound in shame. The first stop was at the bus offices, but of course the foolish Meru was not there waiting for the bus to depart. Its two years now and they have never spotted him again.